When Glen Steinbach accepted the position as Chair of the MUMPS Users' Group in 1985, he delivered the text on the following pages as his maiden-speech. I've often seen parts of this reproduced; here is the complete text.
In the beginning was the sky, and woods, and COBOL. And Octo Barnett looked out over the lab at Massachusetts General Hospital and said, "I will have a computer system for this lab." And contracts were let and work began.
But this was the time of Assembly Language and early COBOL, and the Lab System needed better tools. Three young software shepherds named Pappalardo, Greenes and Marble heard a calling and followed it to the basement of the Hospital. There, in the corner of the animal lab, stood a PDP-7, and the creation of a new software system began.
The three shepherds obeyed new and unwritten commandments:
The lab system at Massachusetts General was completed and word of this new MUMPS spread throughout the land. Federal grant money was awarded to MUMPS-based projects, and copies of the system were distributed. And at the appointed time, Pappalardo and Marble formed Meditech, Greenes formed Automated Health Systems, and thus MUMPS was commercially available. And the year was 1969.
And it came to pass that there was much demand for information about MUMPS, and these requests were directed to Octo Barnett. Octo asked Barbara Farquhar to help provide information, and thus the idea of the MUMPS Users' Group began.
It was during this period that the first quarterly publications of MUMPS information were mailed. And Octo said, "We shall have a meeting", and so it was to be. In December of 1972, forty disciples gathered in Boston, thereby beginning the ritual known as the Annual Meeting of the MUMPS users' Group. So the MUMPS community grew, a few COBOL programmers took note, and at the appointed time Farquhar begat Joan Zimmerman.
It was during the time of Zimmerman as Executive Director that the use of MUMPS and membership in MUG grew rapidly. Dr. Gwylim Lodwick became the first formal Chairman, to be followed after two years by Dr. Richard Walters. The faithful gathered for Annual Meetings in distant lands such as St. Louis, Denver, Washington DC and Madison, Wisconsin. And there was good news and bad news in the continuing development of the language. First, the good news numerous groups around the country were enhancing the language. Now the bad news they were all working independently so the numerous versions of MUMPS very rapidly becoming entirely incompatible. Thus, the MUMPS Development Committee was born to guide the development of the language. With the help of Ted O'Neill, Marty Johnson and numerous others, a standard for the language was adopted by the Committee in
1975 and accepted by the American National Standards Institute in 1977. And at this time Zimmerman begat Richard Zapolin.
As Zapolin started his three year term,
Rothmeir took over as Chair,
And both of them worked to make MUG good,
For the many MUMPS users out there.
MUG met in Boston in '77,
San Francisco in '78.
The next year the meeting was held in Atlanta,
And attendance grew at a fast rate.
It also happened at this time,
That Ted O'Neill joined the VA.
With Marty Johnson close behind,
The "Underground" was there to stay.
Their battle climaxed in '82,
When Congress did decide,
That MUMPS would be the language of choice,
For VA centers nationwide.
The next MUG Chairman named Heffernan,
Was elected in '79.
A Jesuit priest who speaks and writes well,
His guidance of MUG was divine.
The year was 1980 when
His era came to a close.
Zapolin begat a doctor named Dayhoff,
And this psalm returns to prose.
Soon after the age of Ruth Dayhoff began, storm clouds formed on the horizon of MUG. This was to be a time of bizarre, calamitous and unexpected happenings. MUG's management company lost records, produced unreliable accounting data, and then sued the organization. The balance sheet looked bleak, with liabilities in excess of assets. All this was capped off with the Annual Meeting in Niagara Falls, which featured scantly-attended sessions, dark and damp rooms, and a business meeting that ended in chaos. The truth will never be known, but some have been heard to say that the highlight of this meeting was the site visit to Love Canal.
Was this the end of MUG? Not if Dayhoff has anything to say about it! As times grew tougher, Ruth worked harder. Richard Walters became the new Chairman (for the second time) and the MUG office was moved from Boston to Washington. Maureen Lilly was hired as Administrative Director, marking the beginning of the MUG office staff. The quality of the MUG Quarterly improved and, after a successful meeting in Denver, the future of the organization looked brighter.
And the MUG staff well, they were fruitful and multiplied. For a while it seemed that everyone on the office staff was pregnant, including both Maureen Lilly and Ruth Dayhoff. The 1983 Annual Meeting in San Francisco featured a record number of attendees, even though the cable cars were not running. Four-week-old Joseph Lilly attended with his mom and spent much of this time in the room with a nun hired to babysit (who, on one occasion as Joseph cried, was heard to exclaim, "C'mon, Joseph, give the sister a break!")
It was at this time that Dayhoff moved on to the position of Chair, and begat Helmuth Orthner as Executive Director.
The age of Orthner, which continues to this day, has been a time of prosperity for MUG. Membership has grown and the 1984 meeting in Philadelphia was the biggest ever. The quantity and quality of MUG publications continues to improve. The competent office staff provides a multitude of services for members. And with the generosity of DEC and InterSystems, MUG now even has its own computer in the office. Of course, there have been some set-backs. The long-discussed Continuing Education Seminars were sponsored throughout the land, and although planned with much prudence, they've not had many students. But not all plans can turn out well!!
As this story ends at this time,
I'll change from prose back into rhyme.
Now as I assume the position of Chair,
I think MUMPS prospects are better than fair.
And why do I think that MUMPS will do well?
'Cause I've programmed in COBOL and know that it's hell.
And although other database systems sound neat,
In features the FileMan has everyone beat.
So be glad you know MUMPS and perhaps you've agreed,
MUMPS is a good tool that can help you succeed.
In conclusion I must say I'm glad that you're here.
So you can be part of this good book next year.